Getting to the heart of it, slowly.

6:10pm @ Lost Pond Shelter
mi 523.3

Did not sleep well. But I've been still & resting just the same.

Made a decision at the last shelter to walk 4.5 mile more to this shelter at 4pm. Not my best choice of the trip. Having a walking partner makes me anxious. Mostly it is due to not having any time alone in the past week.

Town was not as restful as I hoped. So many hikers. All wanting my time.

I tried to same some money by sharing a room both nights, but that was exhausting also. making conversation, and balancing chores with other folks.

Basically, I made some not perfect choices the past few days which let to my current anxiety riddled exhaustion.

Also, I bought way too much food in town some how. It is heavy. And I am ashamed for some reason.

Part of this trip was learning to be kind to myself. Breaking the habit of beating myself up for any small mistake. That crap has to end.

I tried to remind myself that to have made it this far is an accomplishment. 3 weeks. 200+ miles. No major injuries or freak-outs.
Let's not forget all the planning and effort and risk just getting to the trail took! Closing the apartment. Leaving the comfortable job where I just started to get some recognition......
But for some reason, that doesn't make me feel any better.
I wish I could stop comparing myself to every person I meet.

I'll get through this. Have been through much worse. Just wish my pack wasn't so heavy. Maybe I'll bury some of the food in the woods.

For now, it is iPod time and sleeping in. Because today I am only walking 10mi. The thru hiker pressure and 'physical challenge' crap can go fuck itself. I'm tired. My feet hurt. Tomorrow I am only walking 10 miles.