mi 468.4
Today was my hardest day on the trail. didn't sleep well last night. Didn't eat much for lunch or dinner.
I had no energy & I had serious trouble climbing a hill. And usually, uphill is my best. I love that. The backpack felt heavy today also.
Somewhere about 2pm I freaked out. My knees hurt. The lack of energy ruined my motivation. Katahdin never seemed further away.
So, same as every time I have an anxiety attack, I stopped. Middle of a hill climb.
"Stop. Breath. Rest."
I go to my happy place & flood myself with praise. "You've gone so far already. You are worthy of being happy." etc.
As the calming effects took hold a thought came. Maybe some of this suffering is good old rumination?!
There isn't much else to do while hiking than dip into the well of regrets, failure and disappointment. That thing has no bottom.
Maybe some classic distraction is all that is needed to turn this thing party around? So I took off my pack. Dug out my iPod and put on a band I like. Not one that I thought the hipsters would think I was cool listening to. I played Harry and the Potters. Good old wizard rock!
30min later, my knees still hurt, but I was singing along and enjoying the woods again.
I really wanted to tough out all the hard times. Had the idea when planning that would make me stronger. More of a man. It felt great to admit that I was suffering. And it felt even better to know that I could take control and get back on the trail!
No comments:
Post a Comment